Gnawing On That Bone

by Lisa Marie Simmons

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What is it about me What is it about me Seem like OCD
What is it that I sweat the small stuff continuously
Now here I’m supposed to be this real
modern day hippieish chick
Preachin let it go let it flow don’t hang onto shit
But I tug and I pull and I clutch and I grapple
and I wrestle with life’s perplexities
When I mess up, imagine to have
or see that mountain rather than molehill it doesn’t matter
there’s no free will I’m never through
any slight mortification will do
Can’t seem to change that point of view
Find myself probing the wound repeatedly
even though I know I should stop let it heal or rue
the time wasted endlessly
Why not let loose
It’s the thing to do
Why not let it lie
why insist incessantly
Gnawing on that bone
just breaking it into splinters in my teeth Gnawing on it alone
Down to the marrow
even in even in my even in my sleep
grind grind grind down to powder
down to dust gnash gnash gnash taking hours
as if I must
as if compelled held in a spell it’s all ground down
shame running deep
there’s no one around
try not to weep
and though I disapprove in theory in practice every time or nearly
unable to stop for a minute knowing
I need to cease and desist if I want that acquit
Relishing reliving
the exquisite torture of retrospect
leads mostly to the uttering of an epithet or five
or six
But wait
Hear it in the mix
now I can quit.




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Lisa Marie Simmons Italy

A few examples of our new project- we are currently unsigned & seeking a label. "Musically & vocally, NoteSpeak consistently changes, shifting from style to style – acoustic jazz solos into hip-hop beats into harmonized gospel vocals into electronic jazz and fusion into free verse rhyming – and yet seems to constantly groove... " All About Jazz Chris M. Slawecki who has had a sneak preview ... more

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