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lyrics

Chaotic – cosmic – confusion
lay it’s claim on me,
in my bones, in everything I see.
Lying there, listening, to my heart, beat –
beat – beat – beat – beat …

Now I know, I am much too old
to come off all angst ridden, existential flow,
when I should really be thinkin’ ‘bout my lost potential --
my wasted youth, how long my tooth yet

deja vu is haunting, you got it – taunting,
just, out of reach; there is something about you,
haven’t I seen you?
Didn't I – know you then?
Were we animals, friends? – Or is it just this same life?
Again, and again, and again, and again …

beat – beat – beat – beat – beat
goes my heart … did it just skip a, beat? I need some sleep --
but I can't, for all that, beat-beat-beat-beat-beat-beat-beatin’ me.

What's inside this skin?
How do I even begin, to know the depth
of the you-ness of you? The width, of the me-ness of me?
Revelations … philosophy, mean nothing, to me,
when all I can hear, is this;
beat-beat-beat-beat-beat-beat-beat-beat-beat …

pounding out the rhythm of my life,
how much time I’ve got left in this body of water --
The surf comes, and goes, outside my window
calling me that line where sea meets sky…
What is reality? What is really fiction
that I’ve got this conviction
that I am a 20th century girl turned 21st century woman
human being living now, here today, tomorrow gone; and does that
beat-beat-beat-beat-beat
die? That tide, that rise and fall?
Aren’t we all just pebbles, thrown, circles – circling,
ever widening ceaselessly, beginning to end?

Karma’s a bitch – you say…
holding everything in balance, every word, being weighed.
Listen class, what you do, will come back, to bite you on the ass.

Measure your actions, and your words, or mark mine
in time, you will be revisited, like that old geezer, Ebenezer.
Why not let that shit go, whatever, or whoever, it may be?
No use in continuing courting that cycle obsessively.

So, I took your advice, reaching for the good,
doing everything I could, I would, I thought,
achieve enlightenment …
but for now, I’m stuck in this environment
where what I dread is mostly in my own head.

(Fight to drag my ass up,
gotta get outta bed…
What’s pullin’ me down?
Harder that I try, I find,
deeper I seem to sink.
Lemme think.)

credits

from NoteSpeak (Amori e Tragedie In Musica), released March 13, 2020

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Lisa Marie Simmons Italy

"Musically & vocally, NoteSpeak consistently changes, shifting from style to style – acoustic jazz solos into hip-hop beats into harmonized gospel vocals into electronic jazz and fusion into free verse rhyming – and yet seems to constantly groove... " All About Jazz Chris M. Slawecki ... more

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